I have been friends because of this girl for a while. She broke up with the woman sweetheart. We have been texting a great deal â like 200 communications weekly. We hold obtaining mixed indicators from the girl, and I like their. Should I do it? But I don’t want to destroy the friendship either. We in addition hang out, and I think she searches for me personally within the places.
-Ivan S. Bently (Kansas)
Hi, Ivan. Thank you for trusting us with this particular vital individual problem.
There are a great number of possibilities to spell out what’s going on right here, but allow me to provide you with my “take.” First and foremost, you say she’s giving mixed signals, which most likely means she is perplexed and never sure of what she desires.
She could still have feelings or expectations for the relationship she merely left, or she may be available which will make a move. She can still be in the healing process, and she may possibly not be willing to be viewed openly with another man but.
Texting could be the woman method of extend and hooking up nowadays while she completes psychologically disconnecting from her ex. She can also be puzzled if her friendship for you personally sometimes appears loves it really is developing into some thing larger, but she is undecided should you decide “like” like the lady.
For you, Ivan, you’re in a rather precarious area now. She actually is on rebound and requirements psychological help. She trusts both you and seems much better when she offers some messages or hangs on to you. She searches for you for the places because she wants you, within one means or any other, that is certainly in which you have to be mindful. Should you decide put the relationship first above the desire for dating the girl as a girlfriend, you are in significant likelihood of being directed toward “friend area,” and that’s a challenging spot to escape from.
My guidance to you personally is to find including the lady and chat physically. It needs to be previous and shorter than a genuine date, however it will give you a concept if she wants to view you or otherwise not. Inform her she should move out and simply take one hour to laugh and take pleasure in herself and you would love the opportunity to communicate with her in a bit more level, too. Pick an area where friends and family never go â perhaps a Starbucks anywhere â so she’ll feel as though the woman confidentiality has been shielded.
Ask their how she actually is undertaking assuming she’s genuinely completed together ex. Spend really close attention to the woman body language. Is actually she leaning in your direction or out? Is actually she big-eyed and cheerful, or detached and considerate? Is she behaving “girly” or like a pal?
There is one more thing you have to do: inform their in a really matter-of-fact method in which you would like her. Next don’t say another phrase. She has to get another one to talk. Hunt their directly inside the eyes so she will visit your power plus sincerity. Boldly and with confidence understand her shoulder or arms. Just be sure she knows you are considering the woman in a romantic man-woman type of way.
Be strong and sort but never mental or eager. Make the lady should come to you the caring and comfortable man you will be rather than for all the great kid that is “secure” and ordinary. Her genuine feelings and purposes should display by themselves once the discussion unfolds.
Go for it,